I'm worn out from lack of sleep, Joy even more so than me, but we press on, hand-in-hand, anticipating the hours and days to come. I try and remind myself to take a few minutes every now and again and soak it all in--the mood, the people, the atmosphere, the lighting...the experience. But somehow I'm inescapably caught up in the moment, focused on the task at hand. Joy is doing phenomenal and this progression is much faster than last time. During contractions I am driven and 100% focused on my role and supporting Joy. It's in between that my mind wanders, sometimes to a picturesque lake in the pre-dawn morning fog, two fishing poles, a bucket full of nightcrawlers, father and son. Other times I play the "what if" games. I can't help it, I'm a pilot. What if this doesn't go right? What if that 1 in a million chance of "xyz" happens? Where's my emergency checklist? There's a heavy uneasiness and an equally strong sense of peace when life depends entirely on Him.
Before I even realize it, the last nine months swiftly and methodically come to a close, and a new chapter begins. I'm frozen, unable to find the words to express the feeling of being a father, a daddy, a mentor, a friend. For a few seconds, time stands still, and as I hold my little boy for the first time, he opens his eyes and looks into mine...and I can't hold him close enough. I know he will think his daddy is a superhero and invincible. Flawless. If only he knew the truth. Then I think of my relationship with my dad, and I realize he will love me anyway, in spite of myself, for no reason at all but that I love him the same way. But isn't that the way it's supposed to be? "...We love him because He first loved us."
Now the fun part begins. We can't decide between two names, but as I think more and more about Joshua, that is the kind of man I want him to be. Immediately you think of words like, "courageous," and "fearless leader." I think of a man fiercely devoted to his God, quick to listen. And for the guy in me...able to lay the hammer down!
So, without further adieu,
We are happy to announce the arrival of Joshua Christopher,
born Wednesday the 18th of January
7 lbs 1 oz