Foggy Morning

It's 11:30pm, I've been asleep for a grand total of 90 minutes, but I can't ignore the cries.  He's up, and he doesn't really go to sleep again until 5:30am.  I hit the light on the clock and think, "Ok, another 90 minutes of sleep before Kaitlyn gets up...."  But it only seems like minutes until I hear little feet running down the hall.  I lift my head and a pounding hammer somewhere in there rhythmically reminds me this is the second all-nighter I've pulled.

I try to keep a normal routine for Kaitlyn, so I sit her down on the couch, wrap her up like a taco, and turn on Thomas and Friends while I stand under burning water.  Honestly, I can't remember if I washed or not.

Rain falls in a heavy mist, visibility is 1/4 mile at best, then I open the blinds and to my surprise, the weather is much the same outside too.  Eventually a gnawing hunger in my stomach brings me downstairs for some oatmeal and a pot of coffee...yes, a pot.  I stare helplessly into my cup, oblivious to the world around me, and as I begin to regain consciousness, I realize there's something staring back at me.  For some reason, a nerve fires in my brain and I think, "Hey, that would make a cool photo...if only I could remember where the SD card is."

Thankfully, this stage only lasts for a month or so.  I confess this is not my strong suit.  Joy copes much better than I do, after all, she's been up for 4 days straight now.  I marvel at her commitment and ability to maintain a positive attitude...and some sense of coherency.  Until this wears off, I suppose I'll continue finding strange things inside my morning cup of coffee.

New Arrival

I'm worn out from lack of sleep, Joy even more so than me, but we press on, hand-in-hand, anticipating the hours and days to come.  I try and remind myself to take a few minutes every now and again and soak it all in--the mood, the people, the atmosphere, the lighting...the experience.  But somehow I'm inescapably caught up in the moment, focused on the task at hand.  Joy is doing phenomenal and this progression is much faster than last time.  During contractions I am driven and 100% focused on my role and supporting Joy.  It's in between that my mind wanders, sometimes to a picturesque lake in the pre-dawn morning fog, two fishing poles, a bucket full of nightcrawlers, father and son.  Other times I play the "what if" games.  I can't help it, I'm a pilot.  What if this doesn't go right?  What if that 1 in a million chance of "xyz" happens?  Where's my emergency checklist?  There's a heavy uneasiness and an equally strong sense of peace when life depends entirely on Him.

Before I even realize it, the last nine months swiftly and methodically come to a close, and a new chapter begins.  I'm frozen, unable to find the words to express the feeling of being a father, a daddy, a mentor, a friend.  For a few seconds, time stands still, and as I hold my little boy for the first time, he opens his eyes and looks into mine...and I can't hold him close enough.  I know he will think his daddy is a superhero and invincible.  Flawless.  If only he knew the truth.  Then I think of my relationship with my dad, and I realize he will love me anyway, in spite of myself, for no reason at all but that I love him the same way.  But isn't that the way it's supposed to be?  "...We love him because He first loved us."

Now the fun part begins.  We can't decide between two names, but as I think more and more about Joshua, that is the kind of man I want him to be.  Immediately you think of words like, "courageous," and "fearless leader."  I think of a man fiercely devoted to his God, quick to listen.  And for the guy in me...able to lay the hammer down!

So, without further adieu,

We are happy to announce the arrival of Joshua Christopher,

                                                 born Wednesday the 18th of January
        9:16pm

                                                                                 7 lbs 1 oz

                                                     19.5" long

A New Found Appreciation

For the last month or so I've wiped countless snotty noses, changed a lot of diapers, dealt with teething, toddler tantrums, and, "I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm crabby, that's mine, hold me, let me go..."  All that to say that I've come to a "deeper" understanding of what all the moms of the world run through on a daily basis.  I've also been there to take Kaitlyn to the park, on walks, share in special moments and achievements, and watch her learn and grow every day.  My hat's off to you...every one of you who have, who are, or will raise children--they're a handful!

We took Kaitlyn to the park again today and her agility and coordination baffle me every time we go.  Sometimes I wonder how she can climb a wall with no problems, but she runs into them when she's walking around the house.  Unfortunately, for her usually terrified parents, she's fearless when it comes to obstacles and heights.  She always goes for the biggest, tallest slide she can find, and she goes down feet first, head first, you name it.  10 foot fireman's poles, ladders, nothing is off limits in her brain.  Today she tried going head first, on her back down the slide.  She had already gone down head first and flew off the end once, so I casually strolled over to the bottom of the slide and asked Kaitlyn as she was setting up for her next stunt, "Hey sweetie, you think that's a real good idea to go down like that?!"  Her reply, "YEAH!!"

Climbing all on her own...with daddy as spotter of course

Well, I figured some things are better learned the hard way and let her do it anyway (to the horror of all grandmas worldwide, I'm sure).  Needless to say, it didn't turn out too well, she flew off the end of the slide and ate a bunch of sand.  But she didn't cry, she just laid there for a minute, collecting her thoughts, and then she looked at me and said, "I not do dat again."  "Good idea, sweetheart."  She picked herself up, climbed the stairs, and went feet first.

Showing some discretion

All by herself

Taking a break on the swing

Waiting

Just about every day for the last month or so we've been going on long walks in hopes that it might help baby along.  It's something Joy and I have both enjoyed doing together even before we got married, and it's good to get back into it.  I can't really complain about the weather here; for the most part it's been wonderful walking weather, and we usually include a little trip to the playground so Kaitlyn can have a little fun too.  She loves slides, making friends, and anything she can climb.  Here's a quick video of her enjoying the park...

It's Friday the 13th, the "big day," but nothing seems to be happening yet, and we're getting a little impatient to finally meet our little boy, but I suppose he has his own timing and we will just have to wait!

Terrible Two's???

Look at my seashells mommy!

I don't know, maybe Kaitlyn is just the most obedient child ever.  Ok, maybe not the most obedient, but for the most part, I am really enjoying this age--she is so interactive and hilarious!  I love to see her mind go a mile a minute, and it's refreshing sometimes to see the world from her point of view.

Last week we took a day and went to the beach, probably the last time for a while before baby 2 is born and I start work.  We brought some buckets and plastic shovels to play in the sand, and when we arrived Kaitlyn exclaimed, "[Gasp]...I take a HUUUUGE bath!"  We tried our hand at making sand castles, but that didn't last long.  So we spent most of our time collecting seashells and playing in the water.

Kaitlyn telling me the sand is too wet

One of the funnest things about Kaitlyn (at least to me) is that she picks up on things super fast.  You can show her how to do something once and voila, she's got it.  And then she loves to turn around and show me how to do it.  One of the things I told her on the beach was that she should never turn her back on the ocean, and be very careful about the waves.  So every once in a while she would dutifully remind me that I wasn't paying attention..."the waves can hurt you daddy!"

Well, thanks to Kaitlyn, no one drowned, and we found all kinds of neat little shells, and even a whole sand dollar!  We can't wait to go back, although I'm thinking the next time will somehow be a little different!